Noel Lynne Figart – Page 56 – Tomorrow is tomorrow. Today I will learn how to dive.

January 17, 2008

Being a Fat Athlete

I was doing some research on swimming and sore abs because… Well, I went for a good swim today and my abs are sore! Look, don’t you Google every damn thing you go through? You don’t. Fine. I’m a weirdo. Deal.

Anyway, as I was maundering around the Internet and avoiding finishing my last article for today (but I did send out a good query for AT THE FOOT OF THE THRONE three days early thnxsomuch!), I ran across Fat Girl on a Bike.

This chick made me ashamed of myself and face how damn’ vain and shallow I can be.

Vain? Yeah. You see, I’m fat. No, it’s not a value judgement. I am.

But I’m also an athlete, dammit. I never called myself that because I’ve always felt I “wasn’t there yet”. I played soccer, but I wasn’t great it at. So, I wasn’t really an athlete. I was a martial artist but I never earned a black belt, so I’m not really an athlete. I’m fat, so I’m not really an athlete.

This woman, who is doing triathelons not to “get skinny” or any other damn reason than she bloody well wants to compete in triathlons puts me and my scale stepping to shame. I’ve actually had to psyche myself out to go to the pool and swim, which I love because I didn’t feel like I really belonged in the pool with all the real athletes. It’s idiotic. Like you don’t deserve to claim a love of movement, which I do have, unless you’re committed to “getting skinny”. That’s gotta me more important than loving the movement for itself.

Now, I know swimming is good for me. How I feel after a good workout (and the sustained good mood for many hours) is a powerful motivator to get me moving. Yes, yes, yes, I’m all for the increased health benefits of being active.

But I swim because I love to swim. It feels good. I lift weights because I love to do it. I adore moving heavy stuff. When I was a martial artist, the love of having the guy a foot and a half taller than I am go THWACK! on the mat was immensely satisfying, and so was being knocked flying. (Hey, you know I’m a weirdo). Anything that requires finesse of physical control excites me.

Will I get stronger and more fit the more I do it? Of course. But I don’t have to have goal of looking like Pudgy Stockton (I know, not fashionable, but I really, really like the way she looked) to just enjoy the workout for its own damn sake.

January 16, 2008

"Real Writer"

I remember reading something some years ago about being a “real” writer or a professional writer. It went something along the lines of:

If you write something and you get a check for it, it doesn’t bounce, and then you go pay the electric bill with it, you’re a professional writer.

I think it may have been Stephen King. I’m not a fan of his fiction particularly, but I’m very fond of what he has to say about being a writer.

Well, I’m a professional writer. It’s weird to wrap my mind around that. I don’t earn all of my living writing, but I don’t earn all of my living doing any one thing. I teach, give advice… buncha stuff. I was asked in the gym a couple of days ago where I worked. When I said I was self-employed, she asked me, “Doing what?”

Um… Everything?

I didn’t self-identify as a writer the first time I earned money as a writer¹. To this day, I do not know why. I think I had the idea that “real” writers saw their work in bookstores. It bothers me, sometimes, that I did not embrace the label. I think I might have been more serious about my career. But I only saw it in terms of big magazine sales or book contracts.

I remember all the pre-Internet advice on getting started freelancing. What no-one said, and I wish someone had was, “Don’t sell yourself short, but don’t be afraid of the chump change assignments at first. Everyone pays their dues in a profession.”

I’ll be the first to say that the skill of good writing is shamelessly undervalued. A “real” published author of my acquaintance cautioned me that she could have earned more per hour working at McDonald’s than she did on a book I had been rather fulsome in praising.

True enough, but you cannot flip burgers from your writin’ chair, either! I mean, this is my office!

Honesty forces me to point out that this pic is somewhat neater than my office at present. There’s a sweater I am working on at the foot of the ottoman, and there is a coffee cup on the table as well as some balls of yarn. Oh, and there’s a phone and iPod cable on the arm of the chair. But, yeah, that’s where I work (cum laptop) unless I’m offsite for something. I don’t teach from that chair! No, I’m bouncing around the classroom throwing erasers and telling people clip art is the tool of the Devil².

This is something I’ve wanted since I was in my late teens. Now, when I was sixteen or so, laptops did exist (they were invented in 1982), but hardly commonplace, powerful tools they are today. If I wanted to write somewhere besides a desk, I was writing on paper and in longhand. The internet as we know it really didn’t exist, either, so the virtual office or hiring people thousands of miles away wasn’t as common as it is now. I may do most of my work in that comfy chair (and god is it comfy!), but I could do it in an airport or on a beach just as easily.

Ain’t modern technology grand?

¹It was a book on how to open a mailing business for a course my client intended to teach on the subject. I’ve since made extensive use of the research I did for it for my own business work. The fringe benefits of the profession can be amazing!

² Don’t ask me why. This guarantees a laugh and a good review from the student.

January 15, 2008

Just total randomness

I’m choosing to be a little lazy and swimming later in the morning today, instead of getting my butt in the pool first thing. I had an idea that I wanted to put in some notes on right away. So I did.

I’m kinda stuck for an idea for a Misanthrope column for next week. Honest, it’s no joke trying to find a weekly topic on the theme of “Don’t be a fucking idiot”.

I got a pasta machine for Christmas, and I’ve been using it a lot. I’ve been doing an experiment with whole wheat pasta, and you know? It’s pretty good.

I need to think about sprouting some herbs soon, actually. I prefer fresh herbs in cooking and haven’t had an herb garden of any sort since the summer 2005 (which wound up being my “pesto year” as my basil went out of control). I’ve got dirt. I have a sunny, south-facing window. It’s no trick to get a seed try and germinate a few plants. I’ll even get myself a bukkit, and I’ll have a nice, portable herb garden for my porch this summer.

Has anyone had much success growing fresh herbs indoors? I do have a room where a philodendron, a Boston fern, a Christmas cactus, several spider plants and a calendiva are pretty happy. Would this be a place where herbs would do well? I’ve only ever cultivated them outside and in the summer.

I also want a bukkit for some mint. I’ve been yearning for a good mint julep lately.

January 14, 2008

What to do on a snow day? Swim!

I didn’t go swimming at 5:30 this morning. It’s snowing and I don’t like driving in the snow. I’ll walk to the gym later today when and swim then.

School is closed, so I’ll be taking my son with me. Yeah, just the “snow day” treat — a long swim!

If I’d had somewhere I had to be later in the day, I probably would have gone ahead and gone swimming early this morning, but I don’t. I usually get up early to get in my swim just because if I get it done, I’m up and going for the day, better. Still, it’s nice when I don’t have to!

Got some site work to do.

I’ve mentioned it before, but if you’re a user of MS Office, I really encourage you to try One Note. I find it a fantastic planning tool.

I’ve been collecting a book list for the Polyamorous Misanthrope recommended reading page, but it’s going to be very different from the usual Polyamory “recommended reading”. It’s not that the poly books aren’t good. Many of them are excellent. But I’m going to be dealing a lot more with historical example of social dynamics (why yes, the Oneida Community among others), and modern practices in negotiation and interaction. I’m increasingly of the opinion that the new business model for interaction works very well indeed in poly situations. Yeah, I’ve got a Misanthrope article brewing on that, too.

I’m also looking at the shambles that is That Damned Book and wondering where to go with it. I had it all plotted out and when I read what I’ve written, individual scenes are kinda keen. But as a flow of plot and events, It Just Won’t Soar, Dammit. I’ve been working on That Damned Book intensely for two years now. (And have been noodling with it for more like twelve years). Maybe I oughta just let it go. I wrote At the Foot of the Throne, which is a much better story as far as plot and pacing, in about seven months.

Oh, for you writers? If you really enjoy novel writing software, I encourage you to check out yWriter. I do use and enjoy it. It can’t solve my problems for me, but golly does it help with planning and plotting!

January 13, 2008

Pondering on the writing

I was re-reading At the Foot of the Throne today in preparation for re-writing the query letter and putting together a better promotion package for it.

It’s better than Stoneflower, even though I did write it with the intention of being a potboiler. I mean, the pacing and plot is better, and the characters are pretty cool. I wrote it with the intention of just being this piece that isn’t Meaningful Writing. You know, Just Telling The Damn Story.

I think maybe not caring about how damned profound a story is worked for me on that one. It’s decent work.

I’m finding the ending a bit unsatisfying though. I’d intended it to be a trilogy, but I’m beginning to think I could take 20,000 (it’s 90,000 words right now) words or so and just turn it into one fairly long book with a much more satisfying, well-rounded ending and screw the idea of a series.

I could actually do with some feedback on it, if someone would like to read it.

January 12, 2008

Getting Things The Fuck Done

I said I would stick to my goals, so I have not planned to swim today. Original plan was to swim 900 yards every week day until the end of the month, so that’s what I am going to do. I may cheat and use the hot tub, though. <grin>

This does not mean, of course, that I do not have a metric assload of things to do.

I want to write a timeline for getting stuff done for the PolyWorks Fund group to tear apart. I’ve been procrastinating horribly on this, and I’m not entirely sure why. Must… Get… Done… Today…
I want to write a much better query for At the Foot of the Throne and find another publisher to whom to send it. My book let me show you it.
I’ve got some projects I wanna bid on.
I need to re-do my Polyamorous Misanthrope dragon image to clean up the header. Write a whole new theme for the blog would be favorite! Not sure exactly what I’m going to do with that, as I’ve tweaked the present theme all to hell instead of creating theme independent widgets.
I’ve gotta write a new page for the Polyamorous Misanthrope that links to books and stuff I think are poly-useful. I have a feeling some people are gonna take exception to some of my ideas. (At least, I hope so <EG>)
Must write more on That Damned Book. I’ve gotten a lot of good ideas and imagery for it on my morning swims. I think that while listening to audiobooks to try to kill off lap boredom is useful, there’s a lot to be said for using that time to let my mind roam free.
Gotta record greetings for a couple of listings on my advice line.
I really want to get the house cleaned up. It could use some Loving Care, maybe even mop the kitchen floor. I’ve been working downstairs, so the clutter in the bedroom is not giving me the visual reactive cue of “Clean me up, dammit!”

I’m finding myself listing all this stuff I need/want to do, and I’m really having to discipline myself to make sure they’re congruent with January’s Goals. If they’re not, I just make a note for next month to decide what February will look like and will these things lead me to the final accomplishment of Goals 2008? I know it sounds goofy, but I’m good at getting excited and sidetracked, so this really helps.

January 11, 2008

Did it for this week

Well, I did manage to hit the pool every weekday this week since I’ve decided to get stern with myself about the exercise.

I live in a relatively small town, but it was a bit of a surprise this morning to share a lane with my family doctor. I’m not sure if he recognized me¹. I never would have pegged him as a swimmer. He seems more the runner type, but I suppose cross-training ain’t all that unusual.

I’m trying to decide if I should just stick to my original goal of swimming 900 yards every weekday this month, or if I should up the yardage. Since my original fitness goal was to swim at least four miles this month, I think I’m gonna just stick with the 900 yards deal. At 4500 yards a week, I’ll have swum considerably more than miles by the end of the month.

I’m noticing a problem I have with getting to goals, and I need to address it. I’ll go all hard core on a goal then burn out, rather than go slow and steady — looking to the long term. It’s why my goals for this year were relatively modest. I’m having to restrain myself from going hammer and tongs at the things that interest me. I have a good plan for the year and need to stick to the “slow and steady” version if I want to ensure I get there. I’m glad I wrote everything down, let me tell you. Having the original goal written down as a referent makes it a lot easier to say, “Woah, slow down there, Hoss. You’ll get there if you stick to it slow and steady.” I’m already finding great value in having that yearly goal, then breaking it down by month, week and day!

It’s so easy to get sidetracked. As I was swimming, I was trying to plan how to get my weights workout in. I started all these plans about spending hours in the gym, blah, blah, blah. As I was coming home, I started laughing at myself. Just sticking to the original plan will be fine. I don’t need to go harder. It’s even possible that I shouldn’t go harder. Accomplishing exactly what I set out to do for the year will be a good year enjoyed and well-spent.

¹One does not chat in a swimming lane at 5:30 in the morning.

January 10, 2008

I can has work and I swimmed!

Ya! Got some freelance writing work. This makes me happy.

Every dollar I earn from my writin’ chair is worth two (emotionally) dollars earned leaving the house. Yeah, I know, I’m a weirdo.

I was also a Good Girl^TM and swam this morning. It felt good. Thing is, I’m still having a hard time getting over being the heaviest woman in the gym at a given time. Early mornings are harder because it’s all the sleek athletes and hard-cores in then. Then here’s me. I know I need to bloody well get over myself and be done with it. No-one really cares but me and I know that, too.

I’m thinking about saving up to get my life guard certification, or possibly even my WSI. I’ve checked over the requirements, and I’m plenty capable of passing them, though it’s been over twenty years since I was last certified. I actually did use my training once, about ten years after I’d gotten my certification.

A mother with two kids (all of whom were inexpert swimmers) got into rough surf I would hesitate to swim in. As a matter of fact, I’d just been griping about the dangerous surf red flags and the fact I’d be spending the day on the sand instead of in the water.

The mom was playing in the surf with the kids, holding their hands, and lost a grip of one of them. He was being pulled out. I was nearby and charged in to grab the kid. The lifeguard was about six seconds behind me and according to my parents, was shouting at me (I couldn’t hear it. I was busy) when she saw me use a standard lifesaving technique to get the kid in — the reach and grab. It’s a method of getting someone without getting too close to a panicked person who can drown you, but is a very firm hold. The guard got the mom and the other kid in and started chewing her out for getting in the water during red flag surf. (You really should stay on shore when the red flags are flying). The guard thanked me and told me that even though she was glad I was able to get the child in, I should be careful with that sort of thing. Well, okay, she was right. I’m not ocean rescue trained. That’s some specific and rigorous skills and I know it! Still, the kid was being swept away, the mother and other kid were in trouble and the lifeguard would have had to choose who to help.

I hope I would have had the sense not to try to swim out after the kid if we both got swept off our feet and out into the deep water. And that’s why ocean rescue is a different sort of training than your standard Red Cross Pool lifeguarding. Conditions are harsher and change a whole bunch faster. The reach and grab in a pool when you’re on deck and there’s someone flipping out within your reach? No biggie. You’re on steady ground, there’s no current or waves to deal with, and you can focus on getting the person out of the pool. In the ocean? Different story by far! Waves are a lot stronger than people, and you can be knocked down while you’re trying to use that very simple technique. Combine that with rough surf, a lot of wind and an outgoing tide (the exact conditions of that particular day), and things change fast.

When I was a kid my dad told me something that I’m not sure if he actually knew the stats on or not, but I’ve never forgotten it: Strong swimmers drown more often. Why? They get cocky and take dumb risks. I don’t know if this was to caution a little girl quite prone to get cocky about her own physical skills or if it was a real statistic. But I figure the caution is fairly useful.

January 9, 2008

I swimmed

I was a “good girl” and swam today.

I think I may wind up being a little sorry tomorrow. I’ve been lazy for the last few weeks and I swam half a mile this morning.¹

Still, it felt good.

I find that swimming early in the morning does have several positive effects. I get exercise out of the way early, so I start the day feeling like I’ve accomplished something. Because I go so very early (pool opens at 5:30 AM) I’ve worked out, am showered, dressed and ready for my coffee by the time the rest of the house gets up. I can accomplish more between 6:30 in the morning and eleven than I can the whole of the rest of the day. Being up that early kind of gets me going better.

But, boy oh boy, can I tell I’ve been slacking. Usually I’m not creaky or sore until the next day when I’ve worked out well. Today? I’m feeling it good and proper — especially in my butt.

Common theory is that swimming isn’t so hot for the legs because it’s not a weight-bearing exercise. It’s one of those fuzzy things. You do work your muscles in your legs just fine, swimming. What it’s not good for is preventing osteoporosis. You really do, no kidding, need to do weight bearing exercise to keep up the bone strength. Walking, running, standing calisthenics, free weights²… But building muscle? Hell yeah, swimming does just fine. Do a few hundred yards of kicking drills. You’ll feel it all through your legs if you’re doing it right.

I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to fit in lifting if I’m going to swim every morning. I don’t know that I really wanna go back to the gym most evenings to do my weights. I may go back to dumbbells for that, though a bench with a squat rack is starting to look attractive…

¹ Yeah, yeah, you hard cores can roll your eyes and tell me that’s really a warm up!

² I say free weights specifically, because you have to exclude any machine where your weight is being supported if you’re looking for the bone-building benefit. Nothing where you’re sitting down will be good for this specific need. That throws out leg extension machines and those things for the supine hamstring curls. Yes, they’re useful for strength, but they’re not what you need for bone-building.

January 7, 2008

People as Things

“There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example,” said Oats. “And what do they think? Against it, are they?” said Granny Weatherwax. “It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”

“Nope.”

“Pardon?”

“There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.

“It’s a lot more complicated than that –”

“No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”

“Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes –”

“But they starts with thinking about people as things …”

— Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett

I love this passage. Actually read Carpe Jugulum. There are several Weatherwax passages that have me grinning triumphantly and crying at the same time.