Self-Improvement – Page 17 – Noel Lynne Figart

June 4, 2008

Fun Client Week

This week seems to be Have Fun at Work Week here at Figart Consulting.

Got a couple of clients who have a quirky sense of humor. God, it I love it when that happens.

Being a freelance writer is funny. Sometimes you get these really interesting projects. If you have a particular hobby horse, you sometimes get paid to ride it. I always like that. All my projects this week are stuff I actually have a real interest in. This does happen more often than not, because if you’re really into something, your proposals start sounding all excited. And let’s be frank, if you’re hiring a writer, having one that’s enthusiastic about your topic is always nice. But sometimes you get some weird, or boring stuff.

Sometimes you have a project where when you start researching it starts to scare the living bajesus out of you. I had one not too long ago. It was Friday, Press Enter, The Happiness Patrol and 2001: A Space Odyssey all rolled into one. I’ve uncurled from my little ball, though.

But not this week, thank goodness. I’ve got a couple of ones where I’ve rushed home from the gym with an Oh boy! I get to noodle about something I like and get paid for it!

Why, yes, I do love my job.

June 3, 2008

Don't Fear The Gym

Lovely workout this morning. While I didn’t get in at 5:30, I did pretty much started my day with a workout, a shower and a nice walk.

Now that I’ve got pics of myself out there, I feel free to rant about something.

I work for the gym where I work out. It’s a nice. You know, friendly — a clean, well-lighted place.

One of the things that one runs across in the fitness industry[1] quite often is someone who wants to get more fit but is afraid they won’t “fit in” – too heavy, too old, too many disabilities…

Friends, the picture in my previous post was hardly that of a svelte gym bunny. And I don’t catch any shit from anyone. Ever[2].

My gym, having a good, warm pool is very popular among the elderly for aqua fitness. There are people who come in who need walkers.

But they come in.

If you want to join a gym and are worried about whether or not you’ll fit in?

Stop worrying. No-one really cares. Well, okay, some of the hard cores will approve of someone making a start on the fitness journey. Other than that, it’ll be mostly blissful indifference ‘cause they’re sweating too hard to worry about it. But a lot of the fear is in your mind. Seriously.

It took me a long time to get the guts to go into the weight room. I was doing my dumbbell workouts, and I was seeing a lot of success with them. I was happy with my progress, but wanted to go ahead and start using the weight room at the gym where I had a pool membership. But I was scared – scared of being mistreated, scared of being made to feel I didn’t belong, scared of looking like an idiot.

If you read things like Testosterone Nation and some such, with a lot of their very harsh comments about fat people, it’s understandable that you might be a little scared. I’m increasingly of the opinion that it’s a loudmouthed minority[3] who really only behave that way from behind the computer screen. I mean come on, if a woman is strong enough to lift a 15 lb kettlebell, she’s strong enough to brain you with it from behind. Who wants to risk that? You’re much more likely to face online nastiness than you are actually in the gym. Not trashing the site. There’s some good info there. Just read the articles and ignore the chest beating. Or, hang it up and go to Stumptuous for your info. It’s just as macho. <grin>

[1] Oh dear God, I work in the fitness industry. Heeeelllllppp mmeeee!

[2] In the interests of honesty, it’s against gym policy to train in just a sports bra and shorts. I put on a shirt…

[3]Who, I also suspect, spend more time talking about lifting than doing it, anyway.

June 2, 2008

Truth in Advertising

I talk a lot about getting fit and what it’ll do for you.

What it won’t do is make you automagically skinny. The people that read this have a fair idea of my basic workouts. This and a moderately okay diet will give you a body that looks like this (if your basic shape tends to such) when you’re starting out heavy.

This is not to discourage anyone from working out. Working out is great. Working out makes you strong and happy and all that.

It just doesn’t make you skinny.

June 2, 2008

Turnip Wagon

I sometimes wonder if I should preface ScrewSkinny with: “I wrote most of this in the pool.”

I find myself thinking a lot about health, fitness, body image and what have you when I’m swimming. I used to listen to audiobooks, but I can’t find waterproof earphones that last more than a few months. My inner Scrooge screams at buying them all that often, and I’ve never found any you didn’t have to futz with a lot to get them to work. I’m in the pool to swim, not play with electronics. That’s my other job <grin>.

Speaking of which, my suit really has Gone Where All Good Suits Go, and I need to get off my lazy butt and get a couple of swimsuits. God, I can’t believe I put this off until early June – the worst time in the world to get value for your buck on a good, chlorine-resistant suit! Well, I brought that all on myself. Speedo has nothing in my size on sale right now, dammit. I’m checking out the Junonia suits and grinding my teeth. No, I don’t want a swimsuit that’s bloody shorts or a skirt. I don’t want something with cute folds and drapes to disguise body shape and increase drag. My body shape is drag enough, thanks so much! Yes, I know. Women my size who care about such things are not in the majority. I expect plenty of women my size don’t wanna put on a suit at all.

Been checking out some of the freelance boards and I’m seeing a lot of what I call Turnip Wagon Projects[1]. These are projects where a buyer wants you to submit a “sample article” that’s never appeared in print or on the ‘net before. This sample article will almost always be as long as and in a similar subject matter to the actual one you’re bidding on. Yes, the person is trying to get free work out of you. If they’re looking for a real writer, what they really want are samples of your professional work. You know, stuff you’ve already written and probably sold. The Turnip Wagon sort? Sure, there are ways to fix their little red wagons if you’re willing to go to the trouble to do so. And yeah, calling them on their theft would probably benefit the world. I just don’t bid on ‘em. Lazy, I know. But as Holly Lisle put its, “Writers get paid to write.” I bid on the ones who don’t seem to want free work. I tend to have more success that way.

[1] My father’s expression for “I wasn’t born yesterday” is “I didn’t just fall off the turnip wagon, you know.” I have no idea where he got that. Probably his mother. She wasn’t often creative of speech, but could get real pithy on occasion.

May 30, 2008

Nothing Tastes as Good as Being Thin Feels

As I’ve mentioned countless times, swimming is an excellent time to ponder.

I was looking forward to a breakfast of fresh-from-the-farm eggs and a nice espresso when the title phrase of this post fluttered through my mind.

Now, I’ve never been thin. I really wouldn’t know. But I’m trying to imagine how it’s gonna feel great.

All my mind can go to is, “Well, it’d be easier to do pullups, and probably with less drag my swim times will improve” and then my mind goes blank.

Being thin won’t feel like anything that I can imagine. I don’t live in front of a mirror, so I won’t have any real, consistent feedback. My body will just feel like my body because I live in it. Whatever you get used to just feels normal. It won’t feel like a constant orgasm of thin. Possibly I’ll get more male attention. I know it sounds weird, but I’m not actually looking forward to that part¹.

I used to be a diet counselor. I’ve watched many women lose large amounts of weight. Accomplishing a big goal? Hell yeah, that feels really good — for about twenty minutes. Then you move on to the next thing.

But, I never noticed that their lives necessarily improved from losing weight. They still had issues with their husbands, or had the same sour tempers they started with, or still hated their jobs, or found their children frustrating, or were scared their husbands were having affairs…

Or if they were happy and had positive attitudes (as many did. I don’t want to imply that all my clients were miserable. They weren’t), they were about as cheerful as they always were, laughed about the same amount and there really wasn’t a significant change in their basic attitude.

I know the phrase is supposed to help people focus on their goals. And you know what, “Don’t sacrifice a long-term goal for a momentary distraction” is a good thing to keep in mind. The thing is: “Being thin will feel good” is a lousy motivation. It won’t feel like anything. It’ll just be you and your body. The change is gonna be gradual and it’s just gonna feel normal after awhile. It’ll be your life and you’ll take it for granted after some small period of time.

¹It’s not that I don’t like being flirted with. I do. A LOT. But, that sort of attention becomes less attractive when you’ve seen someone trying to ask a girl for a date when she’s at the squat rack. Free advice to the men that wanna date women who lift: Do not distract a person who is lifting enough weight to cause an injury if it is lifted wrong. You won’t score any points that way. Promise. Wait’ll she’s done. It’ll improve your chances.

May 24, 2008

Being Down on Yourself

I’ve come to the conclusion that beating yourself up, being down on yourself, hating yourself and all that smack isn’t quite what it seems.

It’s not this hopeless condition from being treated badly when you were a child.

Nope. It’s being lazy. It’s procrastinating[1]. It’s spending time on something that is so non-productive, nay, damaging that it hardly bears thinking about.

And yes, I know that there are going to be people who read that and think, “Oh great, another reason why I suck. Gee, thanks.”

But think about it the time and energy you might be putting into it. Isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing? I’m not saying that you have to be super-productive here, but hell, going outside and drawing with chalk on the sidewalk would be a far, far better use of your time.

What if, every time you felt down on yourself, you thought, “Yep, thinking that again. I’d rather do something else. I’m gonna go finger paint[2].”

Notice that you acknowledge the thought without harsh judgment. Don’t look for yet another excuse to beat yourself up. The point is to STOPPIT. You look at it with dispassionate eyes and coolly choose to do something, anything[3] else.

It doesn’t have to fix whatever you’re down on yourself about. I mean, sure, if that’s what you want to do and it’s even something that’s fixable, cool. But chances are good that the habit of being negative to yourself is actually the more damaging issue.

[1] Think about it, how often do you feel down on yourself that you don’t feel like there’s something you “should” be doing, but aren’t. (Dieting, cleaning the house, earning more money, managing the money you have better, being more social…).

[2] Or read a book, or look up absurd trivia on Wikipedia, or whatever. Washing dishes is better than feeling down on yourself, you know? Okay, marginally. <grin> At least you get clean dishes out of it.

[3] Okay, don’t go around hurting people. If you deliberately choose to hurt people rather than being down on yourself you really do suck.

May 22, 2008

And You Can Work in Your Underwear!

Whenever those “work at home” scams hit my inbox, working at home in your underwear is often one of the “selling points” of the scam.

I won’t say I’ve never worked in a state of dishabille. I do sometimes.

But you know, Flylady has a point when she talks about “dressing to your shoes”. You do need a mental cue that says, “Okay, this is worktime![1]”

Do I ever work sitting propped up in bed? Goodness me, yes, I do! Finished my last project exactly that way. Sounds pretty cool, dunnit? I’m not saying it isn’t fun. It’s a lot of fun. Knowing that my “office” is my laptop, and can go anywhere is really, really cool. I’m not gonna lie to you.

But friends, work is still work. I might be working naked,[2] but I’m still working. The project still has to get done. If I take off to flit around all day because no-one is staring over my shoulder and my deadline isn’t for another week, work doesn’t get done. Cyberloafing in a formal office? Dandy. Go for it. Work isn’t getting done there, either.

But there’s a big difference between me and the person who practices the 5 Habits of the Highly Successful Slacker. He’s figured out a way to get paid without producing much.

I can’t.

I get paid when the job is done[3]. How I did it, when I did it,[4] what I was wearing when I did it… None of that matters. All that matters is “Did you finish?” and “Was it of good quality?”

Sure, sure, ideally you’ll treat your office job like that. If you do, you’ll probably have a really good, successful career and that’s awesome. The reality is that it’s awfully easy not to.

I like being my own boss and working to the job rather than to the clock.

But those “Work at home in your underwear” scams just make me roll my eyes. It makes it sound like you’ll be making a lot of money, but you won’t be working.

Don’t fall for that nonsense. You know, TANSTAAFL and all that smack.

[1] Mine is turning off my email, getting off the social networking sites, and closing chat.

[2] Though living as I do in Northern New England, it really hasn’t warmed up enough that I want to do that!

[3] Or more likely at specific milestones of the job.

[4] Providing I meet the deadline.

May 14, 2008

Captain Buzzkill 2000

I’d been oscillating since doing the 50 mile challenge at my gym whether or not to swim 1500 yards or 2000 yards as my workout. My normal swim was 1650. The last two times, I decided to do a 1500.

I woke up grumpy as all hell and feeling down on myself, so I chose to try a challenge and swam 2000.

I’d never done that before. Felt kinda good.

A lady in the gym got on the scales and commented (right beside me), “No way have I gained four pounds in a day!”

I laughed and said, “Don’t sweat it. It’s probably water weight.”

Another woman near us spoke up and said, “She’s working out, it’s probably muscle weight.”

In one day.

You wish.

A hard-training, unsupplemented¹, young, genetically-gifted beginner female might put on about half a pound of muscle a week for the first five months or so if she specifically lifts to failure. If you’ve been following my listed workouts you will note this is considerably harder than I train². I’m also hardly genetically gifted.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, strength training is important. But let’s be accurate with the numbers, ‘kay?

You’re probably not gonna jump four pounds of muscle doing aqua aerobics. Oh, do the aqua aerobics! It’s fantastic exercise, easy on the joints, gets your heart rate up, gives you some strength work. Absolutely. But it ain’t gonna turn you into a monster. It’ll help you be a little more healthy, and that’s great. It’s a wonderfully valid reason for doing it.

I don’t wanna be Captain Buzzkill here. I really do believe in exercise and I’m all for doing what you can. I mean, c’mon, I got my start swimming 400 yards three times a week, and lifting less than the weight of an empty barbell for my workouts. It’s taken me coming on to two years to get where I am. Doing what you can is something to be proud of. You don’t have to make anything up or distort it for it to be worthy and valuable.

If you think pop magazine articles on exercise get under my fingernails, you’re right.

¹ A euphemism for “not taking anabolic steroids”.
²At the best I can estimate, I’ve put on about four pounds of muscle in the past eighteen months. In a way, we women are lucky at how little it takes to make wonderful changes.

May 13, 2008

My Lunch, Let Me Show You It

I’ve been doing the No S Diet for a few weeks and wanted something cute for lunch today.

Technically I’m supposed to have three meals a day, and keep portions to whatever will fit on a plate — one plate per meal, no seconds.

You can’t really screw up portion control using a bento, though!

I had onigiri wrapped in nori, tuna salad, apples and carrots. Yummy.

The gym was cool today. There’s this huge bodybuilder type with a friendly face, but otherwise pretty intimidating-looking. He’s a grunter, but I think I’d grunt, too if I were trying to do dumbbell flys with 80 lbs.

When I got in and got started with my deadlifts, he was working with this little old lady (I hate the cliche, but it would have been the first thing that came to mind to anyone who saw her) who had baby blue dumbbells. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t work for the gym. I think he was just helping the woman out to be friendly.

I like seeing stuff like that.

May 12, 2008

No Pressure

When I signed up to do the whole 50 mile swim, I didn’t think anything of it. I swim a specific yardage three times a week without really being too concerned about it. Habit.

When your name is on a bulletin board and there’s a mileage increment chart where you’ll be getting a marker when you reach a certain number of miles, it puts it into another perspective.

There are people who’ve already swum 10 miles since this started on May 1. I’m so nuts I actually considered trying to swim a mile every single day.

The thing is, that’s absurd. My workout routine of swimming three days a week and lifting three days a week works out fine. I don’t need to add more just because I’m feeling competitive. I might quit or get discouraged. Quitting bad. Working out good. I only “win” if I keep the workout habit.

Certainly I could choose to make swimming my sole workout. But I really don’t want to. I like lifting, want to continue with it and don’t want to devote more time to working out than I already do. Yes, the option’s there, but I don’t want to.

Not “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” or “I have to…” That’s it’s just a choice with no big moral attachment to it feels really good.