Turnip Wagon

I sometimes wonder if I should preface ScrewSkinny with:  “I wrote most of this in the pool.”

I find myself thinking a lot about health, fitness, body image and what have you when I’m swimming.  I used to listen to audiobooks, but I can’t find waterproof earphones that last more than a few months.  My inner Scrooge screams at buying them all that often, and I’ve never found any you didn’t have to futz with a lot to get them to work.  I’m in the pool to swim, not play with electronics.  That’s my other job <grin>.

Speaking of which, my suit really has Gone Where All Good Suits Go, and I need to get off my lazy butt and get a couple of swimsuits.  God, I can’t believe I put this off until early June – the worst time in the world to get value for your buck on a good, chlorine-resistant suit!  Well, I brought that all on myself.  Speedo has nothing in my size on sale right now, dammit.  I’m checking out the Junonia suits and grinding my teeth.  No, I don’t want a swimsuit that’s bloody shorts or a skirt.  I don’t want something with cute folds and drapes to disguise body shape and increase drag.  My body shape is drag enough, thanks so much! Yes, I know.  Women my size who care about such things are not in the majority.  I expect plenty of women my size don’t wanna put on a suit at all.

Been checking out some of the freelance boards and I’m seeing a lot of what I call Turnip Wagon Projects[1].  These are projects where a buyer wants you to submit a “sample article” that’s never appeared in print or on the ‘net before.  This sample article will almost always be as long as and in a similar subject matter to the actual one you’re bidding on.  Yes, the person is trying to get free work out of you.  If they’re looking for a real writer, what they really want are samples of your professional work. You know, stuff you’ve already written and probably sold.  The Turnip Wagon sort?  Sure, there are ways to fix their little red wagons if you’re willing to go to the trouble to do so.  And yeah, calling them on their theft would probably benefit the world.  I just don’t bid on ‘em.  Lazy, I know.  But as Holly Lisle put its, “Writers get paid to write.”  I bid on the ones who don’t seem to want free work.  I tend to have more success that way.

[1] My father’s expression for “I wasn’t born yesterday” is “I didn’t just fall off the turnip wagon, you know.”  I have no idea where he got that.  Probably his mother.  She wasn’t often creative of speech, but could get real pithy on occasion.

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