June 2008 – Page 2 – Noel Lynne Figart

June 3, 2008

Don't Fear The Gym

Lovely workout this morning. While I didn’t get in at 5:30, I did pretty much started my day with a workout, a shower and a nice walk.

Now that I’ve got pics of myself out there, I feel free to rant about something.

I work for the gym where I work out. It’s a nice. You know, friendly — a clean, well-lighted place.

One of the things that one runs across in the fitness industry[1] quite often is someone who wants to get more fit but is afraid they won’t “fit in” – too heavy, too old, too many disabilities…

Friends, the picture in my previous post was hardly that of a svelte gym bunny. And I don’t catch any shit from anyone. Ever[2].

My gym, having a good, warm pool is very popular among the elderly for aqua fitness. There are people who come in who need walkers.

But they come in.

If you want to join a gym and are worried about whether or not you’ll fit in?

Stop worrying. No-one really cares. Well, okay, some of the hard cores will approve of someone making a start on the fitness journey. Other than that, it’ll be mostly blissful indifference ‘cause they’re sweating too hard to worry about it. But a lot of the fear is in your mind. Seriously.

It took me a long time to get the guts to go into the weight room. I was doing my dumbbell workouts, and I was seeing a lot of success with them. I was happy with my progress, but wanted to go ahead and start using the weight room at the gym where I had a pool membership. But I was scared – scared of being mistreated, scared of being made to feel I didn’t belong, scared of looking like an idiot.

If you read things like Testosterone Nation and some such, with a lot of their very harsh comments about fat people, it’s understandable that you might be a little scared. I’m increasingly of the opinion that it’s a loudmouthed minority[3] who really only behave that way from behind the computer screen. I mean come on, if a woman is strong enough to lift a 15 lb kettlebell, she’s strong enough to brain you with it from behind. Who wants to risk that? You’re much more likely to face online nastiness than you are actually in the gym. Not trashing the site. There’s some good info there. Just read the articles and ignore the chest beating. Or, hang it up and go to Stumptuous for your info. It’s just as macho. <grin>

[1] Oh dear God, I work in the fitness industry. Heeeelllllppp mmeeee!

[2] In the interests of honesty, it’s against gym policy to train in just a sports bra and shorts. I put on a shirt…

[3]Who, I also suspect, spend more time talking about lifting than doing it, anyway.

June 2, 2008

Truth in Advertising

I talk a lot about getting fit and what it’ll do for you.

What it won’t do is make you automagically skinny. The people that read this have a fair idea of my basic workouts. This and a moderately okay diet will give you a body that looks like this (if your basic shape tends to such) when you’re starting out heavy.

This is not to discourage anyone from working out. Working out is great. Working out makes you strong and happy and all that.

It just doesn’t make you skinny.

June 2, 2008

Turnip Wagon

I sometimes wonder if I should preface ScrewSkinny with: “I wrote most of this in the pool.”

I find myself thinking a lot about health, fitness, body image and what have you when I’m swimming. I used to listen to audiobooks, but I can’t find waterproof earphones that last more than a few months. My inner Scrooge screams at buying them all that often, and I’ve never found any you didn’t have to futz with a lot to get them to work. I’m in the pool to swim, not play with electronics. That’s my other job <grin>.

Speaking of which, my suit really has Gone Where All Good Suits Go, and I need to get off my lazy butt and get a couple of swimsuits. God, I can’t believe I put this off until early June – the worst time in the world to get value for your buck on a good, chlorine-resistant suit! Well, I brought that all on myself. Speedo has nothing in my size on sale right now, dammit. I’m checking out the Junonia suits and grinding my teeth. No, I don’t want a swimsuit that’s bloody shorts or a skirt. I don’t want something with cute folds and drapes to disguise body shape and increase drag. My body shape is drag enough, thanks so much! Yes, I know. Women my size who care about such things are not in the majority. I expect plenty of women my size don’t wanna put on a suit at all.

Been checking out some of the freelance boards and I’m seeing a lot of what I call Turnip Wagon Projects[1]. These are projects where a buyer wants you to submit a “sample article” that’s never appeared in print or on the ‘net before. This sample article will almost always be as long as and in a similar subject matter to the actual one you’re bidding on. Yes, the person is trying to get free work out of you. If they’re looking for a real writer, what they really want are samples of your professional work. You know, stuff you’ve already written and probably sold. The Turnip Wagon sort? Sure, there are ways to fix their little red wagons if you’re willing to go to the trouble to do so. And yeah, calling them on their theft would probably benefit the world. I just don’t bid on ‘em. Lazy, I know. But as Holly Lisle put its, “Writers get paid to write.” I bid on the ones who don’t seem to want free work. I tend to have more success that way.

[1] My father’s expression for “I wasn’t born yesterday” is “I didn’t just fall off the turnip wagon, you know.” I have no idea where he got that. Probably his mother. She wasn’t often creative of speech, but could get real pithy on occasion.