The Ten Rules of Bodybuilding

In between my writing sessions, I’m looking up stuff on bodybuilding.

When you throw out all the stuff that’s clearly been paid for by supplement companies of dubious worth, it seems this is the basic advice:

  1. Lift heavy shit.
  2. Make sure every muscle in your body gets involved in lifting heavy shit.
  3. Make sure that when you’re lifting heavy shit that you don’t lift shit that is too heavy and tear something so you can’t lift heavy shit for awhile. (Your body will hunt down your ego and punish it if you forget Rule One1).
  4. Make sure that you give your muscles ample recovery time from lifting heavy shit.
  5. If you want your muscles to get bigger from lifting heavy shit, feed them enough protein
  6. If you want enough energy to lift heavy shit, make sure you get enough carbs.
  7. If you want to make sure your systems function properly while lifting heavy shit, you have to get enough fat, but not too much.
  8. While lifting heavy shit, make sure you get enough water.
  9. If you want to look like Mr. Olympia, you have to inject hormones while lifting heavy shit.
  10. You can’t be healthy only lifting heavy shit.  Get your heart rate up for a bit a few times a week not lifting heavy shit.

That’s it.  They don’t have to publish fitness mags any more.  There’s all the info you need.   So, howzat for simple?

1Don’t be a fucking idiot.

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