Musing

My job is to learn stuff and tell people about it — more or less, anyway.

When I was a young kid, the professions I fantasized about (Paleontologist and Marine Biologist) certainly had that quality to a degree.

Between the ages of 12 and 15 or so, I wanted to be an actor.

During all of that — say from the time I was 12, I was also writing. I didn’t think of it so much in terms of work. I just… did it. It just felt natural to put thoughts on paper and play with them until they communicated something.

The first “serious” piece I wrote was a script for the Dukes of Hazzard. It was bad. Okay, no…it wasn’t bad. It was appalling. I tried some ten years later to write a script for Star Trek: The Next Generation. My husband at the time still has flashbacks from having to live with me through that.

Not long after that, I got a job — a work for hire deal, writing a manual on how to open a business. I remember clearly writing it and being scared because it was “too quirky” and was wondering if it would work or if I’d piss off my client. This was before the “For Dummies” manuals became as popular as they are, but it was written in that chatty style. In school, I always got fussed at for turning in chatty work. (I know, you can’t write like that academically!) But I used to get mad because it felt right somehow when I would write it. I really wish one of my teachers had pulled me aside and explained that chatty had its genuine and real place.

He liked it.

Why I didn’t pursue that at the time, I do not know. Part of it was that I wanted to write fiction. Honestly? I’m a hell of a lot better at non-fiction — teaching someone how to do something or poking at an illogical thought directly.

I wish I knew why. It kind of depresses me. I feel like Salieri when I read really good, moving epic pieces. And I don’t write epic well.

Maybe I oughta take a page from John Varley’s writing style. He makes it work. I just don’t see how I could write Stoneflower from a first person perspective and make it work.

The first novel I ever wrote was in the style of Heinlein’s Number of the Beast — shifting first person. It was easier to write, but I don’t think there’s any way in hell I could live some of the characters in Stoneflower for the time required to write them first person.

Why I Am in Favor of Testicles for Trucks

Truck TesticlesApparently there’s a new fad out there — hanging rubber or chrome testicles from a truck’s trailer hitch.

And because it’s (OMGWTFBBQ!) a physcial representation of a body part having something to do with <gasp!> sex, some peabrain in the Commonwealth of Virginia wants to ban them.

I think balls for trucks are great! They’re awesome. They’re a big ole danglin’ sign that there’s someone in that truck that is too tacky for me to associate with.

I mean, really… Without those swingin’ nuts, I might actually have to waste the valuable, limited seconds of my life listening to them talk to discover they’re too idiotic to be worth my time.

So if you feel the need to give your truck balls, why go for it, my dear.

And thank you from the bottom of my heart for your philanthropic service.

Being A Foodie (Sorta)

You couldn’t call me a full-blown foodie. I will use the occasional preprocessed ingredient in my cooking. Canned, crushed tomatoes? Bring ’em on. Minced garlic in a jar? In a pinch. (A fresh-chopped clove has a better flavor, though).

I when I travel, I do my very best to try the “local” food. I’ll hold off on trying a dish at all until I can have it where they make it right. I didn’t try clam chowder until I went to Boston, and I’m holding off until I visit New Orleans to try gumbo. I don’t even bother to eat crab cakes up here in New England, preferring to eat them on dockside restaurants on the Chesapeake Bay.

Now, I’ve enjoyed pasta dishes well enough, but the only one I got really excited about was when I was in EPCOT center a couple of decades ago and went to Alfredo’s there. Of course I had the fettuccine Alfredo.

Even though I learned to make a decent Alfredo sauce (cream, garlic, and Parmesan cheese), I was never quite able to get the umph of the dish, and remained an indifferent pasta eater. To me, eating pasta was what you did when you were exhausted and didn’t feel like a creative meal.

A friend of mine gave me one of those hand-cranked pasta makers for my birthday, then taught me how to use it. Ignoring my mother’s rule (never have a new dish or cooking technique when you have guests coming over), I made home-made pasta (with copious help from my friend) and we had fettuccine Alfredo for dinner.

I feel totally in love with homemade pasta that day. Oh sure, it’s delicious — and that’s the point of food.

But it has an added element.

Making homemade pasta is just fun. My friend says that homemade pasta was a treat in her household, and if they’d been good, they’d be allowed to turn the crank on the pasta machine to roll out sheets or to cut the dough. I’ve made it with my kids a few times, too. It’s a fun way to have ’em in the kitchen and have a good time when you’re getting a meal together.

The funny part is that making pasta really isn’t all that hard or time consuming. Now, I’d be unlikely to make it after a long day on my feet, but just for a regular meal? Sure.

Lately I have been keeping boxed noodles in the house, so when my kids want to cook, their basic staple when cooking for themselves is gone. Perhaps I oughta teach ’em how to make it themselves, huh?

Moronic Legislation

A Mississippi bill to prohibit food establishments from serving food to obese people.

Am I the only person who looks at that and thinks of the “Physical Jerks” scene from 1984?I mean, Sweet Zombie Jesus, it’s not like I don’t believe in healthy eating and exercise.    My ass was in the pool today and I swam a whole mile.  You can’t say I don’t work out.   I believe that eating right and exercise is good for you.

It’s just that it’s not the State’s goddamned job to force it.

Flesh of My Flesh

Edward Martin, III in Flesh of My FleshA friend of mine is a filmmaker and was interviewed in the Portland Tribune. Do read the interview. It’s quite the coolness.

I’ve seen clips of the film (and no, he didn’t give away the ending in the interview). He discussed the difficulty of selling a zombie movie that wasn’t “four people in a cabin in the woods”. I think it’s another instance of Hollywood producers not really grokking that there is a big market for intelligent horror. From the clips I’ve seen, the movie is cerebral, but uses that for some deliciously visceral scenes too.

You can check out the production notes at Flesh of My Flesh.

Edward’s film company is Guerrilla Productions and you can see other examples of his work there.

Photo by: L.E. BASKOW / TRIBUNE PHOTO

Swimming, Open Water and Writing

There’s something just innately satisfying about swimming a mile. Well, I swam an 1800, so that’s slightly over a mile. Took me 48 minutes and change.  No, I am not a fast swimmer!  For swims like these, I’m grateful for my Otterbox (waterproof casing for an iPod).  I was listening to Jim Dale’s reading of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I wish there were some marathon open water swims where I live. You’d think with all the lakes around… I mean hell, Lynne Cox, that crazy1 woman who swam in the Antarctic spent her early childhood in Manchester, NH!

I’m not in the least interested in participating in a triathlon, though.  I remember bitching last winter and swearing I was gonna try to start an open water swim event.   Looks like to get such a thing going, I may have to do just that.  Feh.   Maybe I could talk to the Master’s team over at my pool and see if there’s something doing I didn’t know about.

I got some good news.  I’ve got a month more on my gym membership than I thought I did.  Gives me another month to dig up the money to continue it.  I haven’t been doing worth a damn on the weights — at least getting my butt to the gym.   For some reason, I’m more likely to stumble outside my bedroom first thing in the morning, and take 20 minutes six days a week to do an upper or lower body workout than I will go to the gym to do a full body workout three times a week.  I suppose I shouldn’t sweat it.  My body doesn’t care if I lift heavy stuff in a gym or in my home as long as heavy stuff gets lifted!

But, I am swimming, which is also important.  Lately I’ve been swimming on the days I’m not teaching computer classes.  Gets me out of the house on days I don’t have to work away from my writin’ chair, and ensures I do something besides sit in my writin’ chair all day.

I have to finish outlining a document for a client today and study for a class in MS Access I’m teaching tomorrow.

1I use the word “crazy” with the upmost respect. I love to swim and all, but that woman is hard core!

Be Yourself

Yesterday was fantastic, professionally. I delivered some kick-ass service that’s really helped a couple of clients get to where they wanna be. Projects like that are just plain fun.

I learned an important lesson, too.

You get advice as a youngster starting out in the world that seems conflicting. Goodness knows I always thought it did! You’re told on the one hand to “be yourself”. Then you’re told “be professional.”

Well, “myself” is hardly the image of the professional woman. All suits, sobersides and cool efficiency isn’t me.

I didn’t claim the stuff I did in the poly community on my resume.

I would even tone down my accent in the office1. Now, I did that even when I lived in Virginia, because there is a perception that thick accent indicates a lack of erudition.

When I quit working as an administrative assistant, I was taking a big risk, and I really decided to go whole hawg. I re-wrote my resume as a CV. If I had relevant experience, I claimed it, by God! That means my CV2 shows the polyamory stuff.   And I found out that it worked.  It got me shots at work I wanted.

When I teach?  I let the accent run wild and free.  It doesn’t make me appear stupid.  It makes me appear approachable.  The colloquialisms that come out when I relax my diction are funny.   When you’re teaching something as dry as computer applications, humor is necessary or your class goes to sleep.     Approachability?  That’s even more important.  Students have to ask questions to learn!

Part of it had to do with a misunderstanding of what “professional” means.  To be professional only means you’re delivering a good service in the context of your environment.   If you’re a lawyer, it might mean a suit.  But, I know of at least one lawyer, however, who has her own version of a writin’ chair and probably works in her robe and slippers as often as I do.   Your eccentricities are assets if you take the trouble to understand them.

Being yourself just as hard as you can is really what works, because then you’re centered in the joy of what you’re doing.   As foo-foo and woo-woo as it sounds, the other rewards come when you do it.  Every dollar joyfully earned is worth two earned with grudging effort.   When you’re centered in being you you’re delighted to work as hard as is necessary to get what you want, but it doesn’t feel like work.  You’re just doing what you do and it’s great.

1 Mostly Richmond, VA with overtones of Stafford County.
2A Curriculum Vitae is not only for the academic or the medical professional. If you have a “nonstandard” life of any sort, if you do volunteer work that is experience in something you’d be interested in being paid to do (organizing cons translates into events planning!), if you’ve written a lot… All these things are life experience you can put on a CV. It’s more useful than a resume and gives a clearer picture of what you have done and can do.

Why I Do It

Just got back from my swim for today.

I skipped yesterday because I was going to be on my feet all day teaching and I figured I didn’t want to be too tired.

Feh. I’m sorry I chose that. Not that it’s not possible to get too tired. It is. Not that is it not sometimes wise to pick and choose daily activities to keep from overtaxing yourself. It is. But I was tired and spazzed last night, and I think that if I’d gotten up and taken my swim, I just would have been tired.

The simple fact of the matter is that when I swim most days, I am clearer-headed and have calmer energy throughout the day.

I don’t swim to get skinny. I’ve been swimming for a year and a half and I ain’t skinny, nor even “not overweight”.

I swim because A) It feels good and B) I’m clear-headed and relaxed after one.

I did have a long and exhausting day yesterday, and had promised myself I was going to work from bed all day, only leaving it to swim.

Changed my mind and moved to my writin’ chair after my swim today. It’s a sunny day, my living room has lots of windows and I propose to enjoy it while I work. Also, wanna bake some bread and I’d rather be working where I can actually hear the kitchen timer. I think it felt like some sort of mental dissonance to be working in bed once I got dressed.

Swimming Hair Care

Swimmers, here’s a little trick:

Get thee some Mane ‘ n Tail (it used to be marketed as shampoo and conditioner for horses, but people use it with good results, too), wet down your hair with non-chlorinated water, put a little Mane ‘n Tail on your hair and work it through, then put on your bathing cap and do your workout. Afterwards, wash and style as usual.

Your hair will be all soft and shiny.

Don’t use too much or your cap will slide off and you’ll be leaving a trail of conditioner scum and make no friends at all in the pool.

But it really is a good treatment for hair abused by chlorinated pools.

I’ve been reviewing my goals for this month.  I’m quite on track.  It’s hard for me, sometimes, to let go of the big picture and concentrate on the day.    Now don’t get me wrong.  The big picture is crucially important.  I refer to it each time I plan my month.   But when I’m planning a week or a day, I’ll look at my goals for the month or the week rather than the year.  I try never to look more than one step up timewise to keep myself from getting overwhelmed.  I try to look at my yearly goals only 12 times a month after I made them.  I know it sounds funny, but I think this is going to work.  Making sure your dailyness is leading you where you want to go, it’s all good.

I’ve always been lousy at “slow-n-steady”.  I’m trying to teach myself this, as if I do a little slow and steady and do accomplish everything I plan to for the year, I’ll have had a happy, productive and balanced year!

Repeat after me: I brought this all on myself! [1]

My kids are going to be with me this weekend, and I don’t often get a whole weekend to play with both of them. They wanna game. I made up this diceless game based on the Discworld many months ago. I’d call it more interactive storytelling than “gaming” per se, but the kids really enjoy it. I’m just glad I have had the experience of being a GM before so that I knew to take notes. I suppose there are advantages to have a Mama who is a writer.

Speaking of being a writer, this is the weekend that the Universe has decide to gift me with a lot of work. I guess I can scratch the goal of writing an effective proposal off my to-do list. This is my opportunity to make sure I can use effective time management skills, right? Unlike the cliché, I don’t miss deadlines!

However, I am going to be spending a lot of the weekend doing fun stuff with the children, ’cause, well… I have my damn priorities straight! Hello coffee, my old friend…

It’s funny. I’ve sat at the very desk at which I am now sitting2 writing queries to magazines that were (I now know) way the hell out of my league before I graduated from High School, for God’s sake, because this is what I wanted to do. At the time, I’d read science fiction stories that portrayed technology that had… well, more or less the Internet as we know it3. I remember thinking, “God, that world seems neat! Too bad I’ll never live in it.”

Well, I do live in it now, and ya know what? It is neat!

1 RE: the title. One of the attendees of PolyFamilies CampCon 2004 had a habit of saying this. I found it both funny and oddly comforting.
2I have a laptop. I don’t always work in the same place. These are my two other common workspaces:


3Friday, by Robert A. Heinlein leaps to mind.