Some years ago, I had gotten a part time job. I’d commented to my husband that I could be a full-time homemaker or I could have a job and do some homemaking stuff, but not all of it on my day off.
Since I had written a notebook that outlined chores and routines and what was needed quite clearly, the transition to making sure Stuff Got Done was easy – especially because we also decided that we’d own the document together and discuss changes as Life Changes happened.
All well and good.
Today, as I was bringing home groceries, my husband was looking at the notebook to see what detail cleaning stuff was scheduled for the week. I realized something:
Many parts of the detail cleaning had become invisible to me.
Not out of malice, not out of laziness, but because he works from home and I don’t, he was doing a lot of these things on breaks or while thinking out a problem. I had not once looked at the schedule for this week. If I had, I would have noticed something else – I needed to wipe down the fridge before I got the groceries.
I’m proud of myself for not asking why in hell my husband hadn’t wiped down the fridge before grocery time. I also admit that a few years ago, if I’d kept my mouth shut, it would have been a narrow miss.
I say this to point out how easy it is for work you don’t currently do or keep track if can become invisible. It can Just Happen and you don’t think much about it.
The takeaway?
Look for structural work being done. Do you walk into an office and only think about the cleaners when something is missed? Do you only notice a bridge when construction work makes you late?
I’m not saying this to accuse. It’s perfectly natural to fall into the habit of seamless things not being noticed.
What I am saying is: Try to make a practice of noticing!
In my house? The kitchen counters are regularly clean and the dish drainer never has anything gungy and no, I wasn’t thinking about it. That’s just the way the kitchen looks.
But it looked that way because my husband was following a cleaning schedule I’d initially written five years ago and… I forgot it. Because I wasn’t the one doing it.
What in your life Just Happens?