{"id":995,"date":"1999-05-15T10:17:27","date_gmt":"1999-05-15T14:17:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/noelfigart.com\/blog\/?p=3"},"modified":"1999-05-15T10:17:27","modified_gmt":"1999-05-15T14:17:27","slug":"the-ten-commandments-for-making-garb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/noelfigart.com\/wordpress\/1999\/05\/15\/the-ten-commandments-for-making-garb\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ten Commandments for Making Garb"},"content":{"rendered":"
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  1. Thou shalt always measure twice and cut once.<\/li>\n
  2. Thou shalt, when measuring for a bodice, remember that while the \t\t\t\t\t\tbodicegasm \t\t\t\t\t\tis a great Pleasure, thou art vulnerable to Rogues if thou faintest at \t\t\t\t\t\tFaire.<\/li>\n
  3. Thou shalt wear thy home-made garb with Great Pride, for thou art learning \t\t\t\t\t\ta \t\t\t\t\t\tnew skill<\/li>\n
  4. Thou shalt not, if thou be a skilled tailor, call out the pattern names \t\t\t\t\t\tand \t\t\t\t\t\tnumbers of costumes thou recognizest in Faire from the Big Three of \t\t\t\t\t\tPattern \t\t\t\t\t\tCompanies. Though shalt, instead, remember humbly the countless hours \t\t\t\t\t\tTHOU \t\t\t\t\t\tspent using language Naughty in My Sight whilst trying to adapt or draft \t\t\t\t\t\tpatterns when thou hadst but the skill of a small rodent on acid.<\/li>\n
  5. Thou shalt not sneer at materialism when thou wearest Boots that cost thee \t\t\t\t\t\tmore than thou wouldst spend on thy sofa or bed. (If thou sleepest on the \t\t\t\t\t\tsofa \t\t\t\t\t\tbecause thou cannot buy a bed, thou hadst even less room to talk).<\/li>\n
  6. Thou shalt not refer to visible tights on a woman as “period” for late Tudor or Elizabethan garb. Thou shalt merely enjoy the scandalous sight. (We know thou art contemplating invisible tights and We are ashamed of thy lechery).<\/li>\n
  7. Thou shalt always buy more thread than thou thinkest thou needs. Fabric \t\t\t\t\t\tstores will ignore thy pleas to open at two in the morning so that thou \t\t\t\t\t\tmay \t\t\t\t\t\tcomplete garb thou shouldst have completed three weeks ago whilst thou \t\t\t\t\t\twast \t\t\t\t\t\twasting time in a flame war on the Internet.<\/li>\n
  8. Thou shalt always use a new Needle appropriate to the weight of the fabric \t\t\t\t\t\tn \t\t\t\t\t\tfor needles cost thee little and when thou hast used a needle for canvas \t\t\t\t\t\ton thy \t\t\t\t\t\tchemise, thou shalt feel a draft.<\/li>\n
  9. Thou shalt not make garb carelessly when thou intendest to wear it “only one season”. It shall fall apart thy third wearing, causing thee to use language that thy four year old shall repeat from the top of the diving board at thy family reunion picnic, causing thy Aunt Reetzie to have a Stroke. When thy Aunt Reetzie recovers, she shall Strike thee from her will, thus leaving her worldly goods to thine older brother who shall Waste his inheritance by investing in the Stock Market rather than spending it sensibly on a new pair of custom boots.<\/li>\n
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy sister wench’s rose. Thou shalt, too, receive one \t\t\t\t\t\tin time.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Thou shalt always measure twice and cut once. Thou shalt, when measuring for a bodice, remember that while the bodicegasm is a great Pleasure, thou art vulnerable to Rogues if thou faintest at Faire. Thou shalt wear thy home-made garb with Great Pride, for thou art learning a new skill Thou shalt not, if thou … <\/p>\n

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