{"id":142,"date":"2008-06-02T12:22:41","date_gmt":"2008-06-02T16:22:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/noelfigart.com\/blog\/?p=142"},"modified":"2008-06-02T12:22:41","modified_gmt":"2008-06-02T16:22:41","slug":"turnip-wagon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/noelfigart.com\/wordpress\/2008\/06\/02\/turnip-wagon\/","title":{"rendered":"Turnip Wagon"},"content":{"rendered":"

I sometimes wonder if I should preface ScrewSkinny<\/em> with:\u00a0 “I wrote most of this in the pool.”<\/p>\n

I find myself thinking a lot about health, fitness, body image and what have you when I’m swimming.\u00a0 I used to listen to audiobooks, but I can’t find waterproof earphones that last more than a few months.\u00a0 My inner Scrooge screams at buying them all that often, and I’ve never found any you didn’t have to futz with a lot to get them to work.\u00a0 I’m in the pool to swim, not play with electronics.\u00a0 That’s my other<\/em> job <grin>.<\/p>\n

Speaking of which, my suit really has Gone Where All Good Suits Go, and I need to get off my lazy butt and get a couple of swimsuits.\u00a0 God, I can’t believe I put this off until early June – the worst time in the world to get value for your buck on a good, chlorine-resistant suit!\u00a0 Well, I brought that<\/em> all on myself.\u00a0 Speedo has nothing in my size<\/em> on sale right now, dammit.\u00a0 I’m checking out the Junonia suits and grinding my teeth.\u00a0 No, I don’t want a swimsuit that’s bloody shorts or a skirt.\u00a0 I don’t want something with cute folds and drapes to disguise body shape and increase drag.\u00a0 My body shape<\/em> is drag enough, thanks so much! Yes, I know.\u00a0 Women my size who care about such things are not in the majority.\u00a0 I expect plenty of women my size don’t wanna put on a suit at all.<\/p>\n

Been checking out some of the freelance boards and I’m seeing a lot of what I call Turnip Wagon Projects[1]<\/a>.\u00a0 These are projects where a buyer wants you to submit a “sample article” that’s never appeared in print or on the \u2018net before.\u00a0 This sample article will almost always be as long as and in a similar subject matter to the actual one you’re bidding on.\u00a0 Yes, the person is trying to get free work out of you.\u00a0 If they’re looking for a real writer, what they really want are samples of your professional work. You know, stuff you’ve already written and probably sold.\u00a0 The Turnip Wagon sort?\u00a0 Sure, there are ways to fix their little red wagons if you’re willing to go to the trouble to do so.\u00a0 And yeah, calling them on their theft would probably benefit the world.\u00a0 I just don’t bid on \u2018em.\u00a0 Lazy, I know.\u00a0 But as Holly Lisle<\/a> put its, “Writers get paid to write.”\u00a0 I bid on the ones who don’t seem to want free work.\u00a0 I tend to have more success that way.<\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> My father’s expression for “I wasn’t born yesterday” is “I didn’t just fall off the turnip wagon, you know.”\u00a0 I have no idea where he got that.\u00a0 Probably his mother.\u00a0 She wasn’t often creative of speech, but could get real<\/em> pithy on occasion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I sometimes wonder if I should preface ScrewSkinny with:\u00a0 “I wrote most of this in the pool.” I find myself thinking a lot about health, fitness, body image and what have you when I’m swimming.\u00a0 I used to listen to audiobooks, but I can’t find waterproof earphones that last more than a few months.\u00a0 My … <\/p>\n

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